Transmat World: Chapter 16, Episode 2
Asteroid 216 Kleopatra, Wednesday, November 17, 2145 A.D.
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“Okay, let me see if I’ve got this straight,” said Maria. “The little inside-out Transmat at the end of one of those tubes gets a sample of the environment, be it an X-ray laser or two million degree hydrogen or vacuum, as it closes in and teleports it to a sampling chamber located somewhere safely remote in the Solar System. That chamber is connected to a super-fast optical quantum computer and a Transmat that sends a go/no-go signal back to the main switch on the ship which causes it to jump a tenth of a light year away before the hostile environment can get to the hull. If the process takes longer than two and one-half hundred millionths of a second, the ship assumes the sample container was destroyed and jumps anyway.”
“Sometimes it almost makes me cry: so pretty and smart, too,” said Vince in a squeaky voice, holding the bridge of his nose between finger and thumb, looking at the grating. Maria popped him lightly in the gut. “Oomph! And that is exactly how the ship’s defenses work. Also, all Transmat activity from the ship will go through a transmission origination and content verification relay before it gets back to Kleopatra. That way nothing bad can sneak back into the Solar System from a ship’s Transmat. Now let’s get out of here and let Enrique get down to business.”
They filed out of the ship and back into the lab, leaving Enrique and Rousseau working on a pre-flight checklist. A lab worker signaled that the access boom was sealed, and they watched as the See Lurchin’ eased away with Transmat thrusters. Enrique stopped several hundred yards out and tested all thrusters in sequence, making the ship dance a little jig. He accelerated away from the lab and soon dwindled to a sparkly lump of coal against an infinitely deep black background before disappearing altogether. A large display screen showed Enrique in the pilot’s chair with Rousseau perched on the back.
Enrique put on his carnival booth voice. “All right, ladies and gentlemen, for my next act I will enter the depths of space. For the first time a human being will use a Transmat drive to travel through space beyond the confines of our Solar System. I’m setting up a medium-range cone of probable materialization north and perpendicular to the ecliptic. I’m about to transmat … now.”
Enrique pushed a red button on the console and disappeared. The screen went black. Several seconds passed.
“Oops,” said Mark.
“Sorry, folks, there must have been a minor power snafu,” said Enrique. “Let me get the lights.”
As the lights came on inside See Lurchin’, men gasped and women screamed. Where Enrique’s head had been there was the head of a giant grasshopper with obsidian eyes, articulated antennae, and dripping mandibles. Rousseau sported a miniature Enrique head.
“What?” asked Enrique.
“Enrique, you’re an idiot,” said Maria.
“I tried to tell him that,” said Rousseau.
“Says the co-idiot,” said Vince with a stern look.
Vince cannot keep a straight face and burst out laughing. Everyone else joined in when Enrique ripped off the elaborate latex head.
“I couldn’t pass it up,” said Enrique. “I had these left over from Halloween.”
“It was quite humiliating,” added Rousseau, holding the miniature Enrique head by a little grasshopper claw until Enrique snatched it and put both masks back in his bag.
“Turn off the interior lights again and turn on the display,” said Vince.
The inside of the See Lurchin’ turned into a swathe of stars, one slightly brighter than the rest.
“That would be Sol,” said Enrique, pointing to the larger star, “about one-third light year away.”
Everyone looked around at each other in mutual amazement. Vince cheered and everyone joined in.
“I should point out that I’m not back yet,” said Enrique as the eruption died down.
“Minor distinction,” said Vince. “Remember, five jumps back, each smaller than the last.”
As Enrique navigated the See Lurchin’ back to the Solar System, the staff rolled out tables of food and champagne. The flawless return ended with Enrique walking out of the tunnel boom between bracketing lines of upheld fluid bulbs and cheers.
“This has been a great year — I can’t wait for Christmas,” said Enrique as he snagged a canape and a bulb of champagne.
“Christmas may come early this year, Enrique. You’re on the list for the See Lurchin’s first real mission,” said Vince.
“Where to?” asked Enrique.
“Classified.”
“The galactic core to check out the giant black hole devouring the Milky Way?”
“No.”
“The Andromeda Galaxy?”
“Lucky guess. Pack an extra pair of undies.”
Maria, Vince, Ernesto, and Porfirio were the only ones there who knew See Lurchin’s destination. Vince did not want it public knowledge. Members of the Board would find out soon enough, and he did not want them weaseling their way into the mission or using cautionary restraints at this important juncture of mankind’s history. In this case, it was better to do it and suffer the consequences than to ask permission and have it denied. Besides, Vince felt like he and the Board were after pretty much the same thing despite the thing going on with Bert. Different reasons were immaterial.
Mark ended a private conversation on his hedset and collared Vince.
“The Board is threatening to halt trading of Transmat, Inc. if you don’t submit to an audit immediately,” whispered Mark.
“They can’t do that. I already checked with legal,” replied Vince and turned back to the crowd as if he had just heard wonderful news.
“Lab team, thank you for your support. The existence of this craft is a corporate secret. Anyone caught blabbing, it’s automatic dismissal. I will see some of you, and you know who you are, in the armory tomorrow at 9:00 A.M., uh … 0900 hours since it’s the armory. Be sure to wear loose fitting, lightweight gym clothes with full pants and sleeves with elastic waistbands. Congratulations to the rest of you on beating mining production goals for the second quarter and the third quarter so far. There will be bonuses this Christmas. Everyone else, let’s get back to the Cave.”
That brought another round of cheers from the lab personnel. Vince and his group piled into the S5.0 Transmat booth. Someone dawdled in punching in the destination code. It took a full five seconds to get back to the Cave.
“Congratulations, Enrique,” Vince stopped near the booth outlet, “on the first extra-galactic, faster-than-light space flight.”
“Vince, you could have made this flight and been first instead of me. I appreciate the opportunity.”
“There’s plenty of glory to go around. I don’t feel ignored. Take the rest of the day off. You earned it.”
“There will be a news release of this event, eventually, right? History and all?”
“Yes,” said Vince.
“It won’t include that silly thing me and Rousseau did with the masks, will it?” asked Enrique.
“Oh, absolutely. You’ll be known as the Shecky Greene of space adventurers,” said Vince as he stepped into a booth with Maria and disappeared.
“Well, here’s another nice mess you’ve gotten me into,” said Rousseau in a perfect Laurel and Hardy imitation.
“’Fine’ mess, not ‘nice’ mess,” said Enrique.
“Nice mess,” said Rousseau.
“Fine.”
“Nice.”
Rousseau was yanking archived Laurel and Hardy video off the Internet as they stepped into a Transmat booth. “But who is Shecky — ” and disappeared.
